Eight Crazy Lot Lizard Stories

We asked, and boy did you deliver. Here are eight crazy stories told by drivers who’ve seen some sh!t. 

“Woke up in the middle of the night after a long, long day of driving. Heard a woman scream and curse the driver parked next to me. It seemed he had to go really bad and opened his sleeper door and pissed on a lot lizard sitting on his fuel tank.”

“It was in Benton Harbor, MI. I was sleeping when somebody brutally knocked on my door. I woke up real fast and I literally saw Zombie asking me f I need a company. I never was so close to heart attack before.”

“I was sitting in my truck watching out the window in Portland Oregon on my break a few years back. I watched this young lot lizard going from truck to truck and a few stops inside she saw me sitting there came up to my window and asked if I needed any company I told her not today. She walked between my truck and the one next to mine and decided to clean herself with a coke douche. She pulled up her skirt and washed it out. I think that was about the weirdest thing I saw!”

“Setting doing my paperwork one night and my wife was in the bunk. A lizard came up to my truck and asked if I needed anything. I told her no but my co-driver might. She started to get back into the bunk to check – and that’s when all HELL broke loose. That old gal almost turned over two trucks trying to get away from mine. Sure was funny to watch. Many years ago and my wife still hasn’t forgotten about it.”

“I was cleaning out my refrigerator one knocked on my door I told her to hold on. Gave her about a pound of lunch meat and told her that should be enough meat for the night. Then shut my door.”

“One knocked on my door asking me if I wanted company. I told her I’m never alone, Jesus is with me. She walked away saying “You and Jesus have a good night.”

“I once asked one of them how much she’s selling her p&$$@ for, she told me $60 for everything…I told her I wasn’t interested in buyin’ any p&$$@, however I needed my dashboard wiped down and my floor cleaned out. I asked her how much she’s gonna charge me, she said $30, I said deal. Now she done a good job, but my truck was smelling like fish for the rest of the week…”

“My husband was stopped somewhere for the night and one came tapping on his window… guess she didn’t see the dog on the front seat.. after she tapped,the dog jumped into the window knocking her on her ass…she called the cops saying she was pushed and she got herself arrested.”